


the poetry of fear

by octoberwithoutyou



Series: nightmares [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gen, M/M, i would say pre relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:02:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoberwithoutyou/pseuds/octoberwithoutyou
Summary: Cassian has had his fair share of nightmares. All of them had, no matter how much time they had been in the Alliance. Most of them dealt with them discreetly. No use crying about something that wasn’t a real threat.





	

Cassian has had his fair share of nightmares. All of them had, no matter how much time they had been in the Alliance. Most of them dealt with them discreetly. No use crying about something that wasn’t a real threat.

He had also experienced watching fellow soldiers having nightmares. Since the age of six, he had become accustomed to hear different kinds of groans, whines, and cries that were actually the same expression of fear coming out of people who tried their hardest not to let them out consciously.

At least, that’s how he felt about them. Nightmares were something really personal, and unfortunately, not everyone had the luxury to sleep alone. Usually, the morning after, you could sense the awkwardness in between the people who shared the room upon hearing what it was often kept for oneself.

 

After Scarif, only Bodhi stayed. Chirrut, Baze and Jyn left the same day, and Bodhi, K-2SO and Cassian were there to say their goodbyes. Even the droid seemed a little sad, no matter how many times he denied it. Cassian would mock him for that, but he was, too, feeling a little sad. 

The Alliance decided they were on a leave. Indefinitely. It didn’t make sense, since they didn’t even have major injuries, but he knew better than to complain. He was lucky he was still in the Alliance, and he’d rather not risk his luck. The next weeks all he did was walk around the base, K-2SO chirping by his side. At least that wasn’t new.

What was new, however, was a certain pilot. He spoke too fast sometimes, had destroyed everyone in the base in almost every card game he’d played in, and apparently, was considered part of the Alliance without any ceremony or procedure. That was fine by Cassian, he had already proven himself in his books.

A week after they were miraculously rescued from the battlefield about to disappear that was Scarif, Cassian was asked if him and Bodhi could share a room. Indefinitely, of course. Until they were recovered enough to part their ways in different missions. The war wasn’t over, after all. And Cassian said yes, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t done that before.

So he started sharing a rather narrow room with two bunk beds with K2 and Bodhi. The droid usually left the bedroom for the night, as he didn’t require sleep and had caused a few minor scares to his roommate (“Minor? I believe the correct expression would be ‘I need a new pair of underwear after this’” “Just get that out of the room. Where did you even get that thermal detonator?”). So it was just Bodhi and him.

He liked the guy. Too fidgety but easy to trust. It’s the eyes, he heard someone say during lunch. Too wide, too expressive. Thank Force he was a pilot, not a spy. He seemed to get along with everyone, but sticked with Cassian and K2 during meals, and before the lights out.

K2 considered him a funny man, and Cassian could tell he liked him. He himself didn’t have a problem, so Cassian and K2 walking around the base turned into Cassian, K2 and Bodhi, the former two explaining the latter how it all worked, what were the roles of everyone, and who was most likely to bet more credits in card games.

 

A few days after he started sharing a room with Bodhi, he heard it. Quiet whimpers and someone shifting and rolling around the bed. Cassian opened his eyes, and sat on the bed. He was sleeping in the top bunk, and every movement Bodhi made could be felt there, so going back to sleep and pretend nothing had happened was out of the question.

Bodhi’s cries were getting louder, and Cassian was afraid they were going to become screams. He had interfered in numerous bad dream before, and he liked to think he could help. The reason why he was taking so damn long sitting on his ass and not helping was, honestly, because it was hard to connect those poignant sobs with the anxious yet overall supposedly happy man.

He got down his bunk bed and kneeled in front of Bodhi, whose face was even more heartbreaking than his cries. “Bodhi.” He rasped, placing a hand and removing it when the other flinched. “You’re having a nightmare, Bodhi. You are at the base with me, you’re safe. Bodhi Rook-”

Suddenly, Bodhi sat up on the bed, looking around with wide eyes that seemed to stare at something pass Cassian, pass everything in the room. As if he was still inside his nightmare. “Bodhi Rook. I’m the pilot.”

“Yes. Bodhi, what-”

“I’m the pilot. I’m the pilot.” He was now looking at Cassian as if he didn’t know him, with such desperation that Cassian had to look away. “I’m Bodhi Rook, I’m the pilot.” 

“I know, Bodhi. It’s okay.” He said softly. “Everything’s fine. You were having a nightmare.” Apparently babbling was helping, so he continued telling Bodhi every phrase he’d ever used in these situations until Bodhi’s eyes weren’t as scared and wild as before. He saw the other man start to fidget, turning a little red with embarrassment.

“Cassian! I, sorry about that.” He started with a tiny, nervous smile.

“It’s fine. It happens.” Cassian responded, but he was still frowning slightly. “Do you wanna-”

“Talk about it? Not really. It’s not that I, you know, don’t trust you or anything. I just…” He ran a shaky hand down his face. 

“It’s fine.” Cassian repeated, placing a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder a tad awkwardly, but it was worth the smile the other offered him. “You don’t have to. We can take a walk, if you want.”

“I woke you up, didn’t I? You should go back to sleep.”

“I could sleep all day if I wanted to, it’s not like I have something better to do.” He said jokingly, rolling his eyes. He was glad to see Bodhi’s smile widening at that.

“Okay.” Bodhi finally nodded. “As long as there’s no problem with that…” He stood up. Cassian noted he was wearing the clothes of the day before. Didn’t the Alliance give him some pyjamas? Or maybe...maybe he wanted to be prepared to run away in the middle of the night. Cassian didn’t blame him, he’d done the same a few times. “Is K2 outside?”

Cassian was brought into reality with that question. He nodded, turning to see Bodhi standing by the door, waiting for him. He stood up, brushing off the dust from his pants. “Yeah. Maybe we can join him. He always complains he doesn’t anyone to annoy at night.”

Bodhi let out a laugh, still looking a bit shaken up, but it was enough for Cassian to laugh as well. Everything was fine, just a nightmare. Still, as Bodhi walked out of the room and Cassian followed him, he couldn’t help but wonder what the other had been through to put that desperate yet vacant expression on his face. Bodhi turned to him again, smile on his face as if he had said something funny, and Cassian smiled back even though he hadn’t heard it. He’ll ask him later.


End file.
